Samsara

Best of 2010

2011-01-02T14:16:00.001-05:00

My Personal Best albums of 2010:

10. Kings Of Leon - Come Around Sundown
Although this doesn't pack as much punch as their last release, Only By the Night, which made it to my #2 last year (only surpassed by Mark Lanegan and Soulsavers), it still deserves a spot in my top 10. I love this band, love watching them play, and the way their music makes me feel.

9. Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan - Hawk
Although this needs no explanation since the Mighty Mark Lanegan lends his voice to it, a song like Won't let Me Down Again (great video at the link) give this album an Americana vibe I didn't know I liked so much! Plus, have I mentioned it's Mark Lanegan?

8. Ryan Bingham and The Dead Horses - Junky Star
itunes places this in the country genre. I don't like that label, but I do enjoy this album. I love the grit in Ryan's voice, the guitar playing, the harmonica placement, the humble stage presence -one of the best shows I've seen this year. There's also this...sigh...

7.The National - High Violet
I'm kinda fibbing here. I discovered The National this year and completely fixated on Boxer, which was released in 2007, but also picked up 2010's release High Violet. The new one hasn't seen as many spins as Boxer, because I just couldn't let go. My one Lollapalooza regret was missing The National - poor placement, their set was right before Soundgarden.

6. Broken Bells
Fun, fun, album. Great driving while dancing music, which apparently I still need to master. This one had massive air time. Broken Bells put on a great live show too! I'd almost consider this a guilty pleasure, but it convinced me to check out Sparklehorse, Dark Night of the Soul, which really deserves it's own spot on this list.

5.Fistful of Mercy
For a great album, an amazing live show, for Alain Johannes' Spark, for running across Broad St. in the middle of the night into Joseph Arthur's arms.....for making me smile :)

4.Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More
I'm starting to see a trend of deep, rough voices, acoustic guitar and that Americana vibe again. Although, to be fair these guys aren't American. Unfortunately, I caught on too late and missed their sold out show, which precludes their placement higher on my list.

3.Robert Francis - Before Nightfall
THE find of the year for me. I get goosebumps thinking about it. Young dude,with an old voice and soul. I 'felt' shades of Jeff Buckley just listening and even more so when I caught a show this summer, in the Hamptons of all places. The dichotomy of his age and sound blew me away as well. Check out this vid for Mescaline and see if you don't agree.

2.The Black Keys - Brothers
This band have begun to define rock 'n roll for me. I know this album made many best of lists this year, but spinning Brothers on my USB turntable IS the epitome of rock 'n roll. It takes me back and keeps me present.

1.Black Mountain - Wilderness Heart
In keeping with my retro, yet current leanings (this worked out nicely but completely unintentionally), Wilderness Heart is my #1. On the band's myspace, they list their genre as "Healing and Easy Listening/Psychedelic". I love that description, but I feel there's so much more: alternating and combining female/male leads, early heavy metal influences as well that awesome hallucinogenic leaning, plus a rocking live show (it's ALL about the live show) - I feel pretty passionate about this pick. Bonus: listen to Rollercoaster at the 4:24 mark - completely reminiscent of one of my all time favorite bands (mentioned in #7).

Now that I'm done, I'm literally exhausted. This was a long, thought out process. I listed all the albums I felt influenced me this year. Then I started assigning numbers, and re-assigning. There are several bands that deserve honorable mentions, but I think I'll save that for another time. I listened to tracks over and over again. Its an emotional undertaking for me, and I know I do it ONLY for me. It serves to remind me why I love music in the first place, and love is not a word that can begin to do it justice. Now I'm not feeling so guilty about investing in that new ipod the other day ;)

Catching Up

2011-01-02T13:23:00.002-05:00

It's been almost a full 6 months since I've blogged. Seems I go through this every year, winter is much more conducive to staying inside and writing. However, the only thing I'm doing here is copy/pasting the summer music blogs I wrote for work, that never made it to my blog. I'm not proud of the writing that follows, because I was always cognizant of the professional , rather than musical audience I was writing for, however, I am pretty proud of the fact that a picture of Soundgarden graced the intranet presence of my workplace :)

EvelynEvelyn, Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley at the TLA June 18, 2010

Part vaudeville act, part circus side show, part musical theatre, part cabaret and all entertainment and fun, this act of fictional conjoined twin sisters and their life story was a performance like no other. The “girls” played guitar, accordion, ukulele, piano, drum, and kazoos all the while recounting their dramatic life’s tale. The performances consisted of songs from the EvelynEvelyn cd such as ‘Elephant Elephant’, ’MySpace’ and a touching cover of Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’. The great entertainer, Sxip Shirey served as both the opening act and emcee of the entire affair, even manning a puppet show during the main event.

EvelynEvelyn is the brainchild of Amanda Palmer (The Dresden Dolls) and Jason Webley. Everything from songwriting to costume to artwork was the result of a zany creative process, and came together for a wonderful production. Amanda and Jason each performed their own sets as well, before the whole cast reassembled onstage for a rousing sing-along finale.
I am a big fan of Amanda Palmer and she never fails to work with the most creative artists, and put on the most intimate of shows. Her next release is all ukulele covers of Radiohead songs. Jason Webley started out as a street musician in Seattle, and has since released several collaborations as well as solo work. I look forward to following both these artists’ careers.

http://www.evelynevelyn.com/

Next month: I travel to Chicago for the Lollapalooza Music Festival. 3 days, eight stages, over 90 bands!

Lollapalooza: Grant Park, Chicago August 6,7,8 2010

You could say I’m a veteran of Lollapalooza. This music festival started as a traveling show in 1991, took a couple of breaks over the years and found a permanent home in Chicago beginning in 2005. Besides early shows, this was my 3rd straight time traveling to Chicago on the first weekend of August, and is definitely the highlight of my summer concert experiences. This year was extra special because Sunday’s headliner was the recently reunited Soundgarden, which meant I would also be reunited with friends from all over the country traveling just to see them.
It’s impossible for me to share all my experiences, so I’ll just give a rundown of the highlights:

Day 1 – it’s always a wait to get into the festival on the first day. Once I got through the gate, it was time to reacquaint myself with the layout and purchase band t-shirts while the selection was still good. The first band I saw was newcomers The Big Pink, followed by the New Pornographers, a glimpse of Matt and Kim, The Black Keys (a huge favorite of mine), hall of famer Jimmy Cliff and The Strokes.

Day 2 – I started out at The xx but I think 75,000 other people were there, so I made my way over to see another relatively new band I love, Dawes. Heard some Grizzly Bear, Metric, Spoon, Cut Copy and finally Phoenix. I had been looking forward to this band; their record Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix won this year’s Grammy for best alternative album. Unfortunately the sound didn’t carry over well to where I was standing, so I didn’t get the full effect until I moved to the center during the encore. I would love to see Phoenix again in a smaller venue. I just found out Phoenix will be at the Tower in October, perfect!

Day 3 – My friends and I got a late start on the last day. We were definitely feeling the cumulative effects of the hot sun and being on our feet. However, this was the day we had all gathered for: Soundgarden together for the first time in over 13 years! Luckily, I was able to distract myself enough to enjoy Hockey, Frightened Rabbit, and MGMT beforehand. A few of my friends were brave enough to secure spots on the field against the rail in front of the stage. However I positioned myself on a small rise to the right of the stage which gave me a great view of the stage as well as the 2 video screens on either side. Soundgarden were as loud, powerful and dark as ever. They combined classic radio songs such as “Black Hole Sun” and “Fell on Black Days”, with some earlier favorites for diehards like myself, such as “Gun and Flower”. Honestly, I was more than nervous about a reunion due to the fact that most bands cannot recreate what it was we loved about them the first time around. My fears were completely unfounded and I am anxiously awaiting a tour announcement.

In keeping with the rock star vibe of the event, Chicago chef Graham Elliott Bowles (who concert-goers were posing for pictures with)and is also on the Fox show Master Chef, ran the festival’s ‘chow towns’. This was not your usual burgers and dogs fare. The vendors were top class Chicago restaurants showcasing their food. I sampled gourmet food such as a lobster corn dog and Asian Chicken Salad with peanut-jalapeño vinaigrette. Chicago is a beautiful city and there’s not much that can top watching a favorite band perform against the backdrop of the city skyline while feeling the breeze off Lake Michigan. I’m not sure if I’ll return to the Windy City next year, but no matter where I go I know I’ll have great music and friends to accompany me.

http://www.lollapalooza.com/

http://www.soundgardenworld.com/

Summer Blogging

2010-06-16T17:48:00.002-04:00

So I volunteered at work to be the summer music blogger. It's part of an initiative called associate engagement, which I take to mean acknowledging and attempting to bridge the gap between work and home life. I volunteered because although I love to write, as with everything else, if I have a deadline I get it done, if not, nothing gets done. I also thought just maybe it'd be a networking tool, maybe someone else out there at my work place has a passion for music like I do. Maybe someone out there is in need of a music reviewer. My first blog published this week, along with a pic and bio - I found that part embarrassing. I am going to repost my blogs here, along with some personal tidbits that I left out of the work blogs.

Joseph Arthur at Milkboy Coffee Ardmore, PA June 5, 2010

I’ve been a fan of this indie artist for a few years now, but had yet to see him live. I had heard he put on a fantastic live show, and this one well exceeded my expectations. Milkboy holds maybe 50 people so I was looking forward to the intimacy only a small venue can bring. The stage set up included an easel and a very large canvas- which meant he was going to paint for us as well.

Joseph Arthur is an artist in every sense of the word, musically and visually. Joseph came on stage to do soundcheck and launched right into the show from there, making jokes about blurring the lines between pre and actual showtime. Joseph has a pretty vast catalog to draw from and he did just that, playing acoustic and electric guitars, harmonica, and adding musical and vocal loops to enhance the sound. His falsetto added to the mix. Comical banter between songs rounded out the show, engaging the audience above and beyond the music. It was during his last song before the encore where he proceeded to paint while singing, the musical loops providing his accompaniment. It was a wonder to watch. I cannot wait until he comes back to this area again, but in the meantime, Joseph has an art show at Ven and Vaida in Olde City until the end of June. I’d recommend checking it out.

http://www.josepharthur.com/

Broken Bells at The Electric Factory June 6, 2010

Broken Bells was formed by famed producer and artist Brian Burton (a.k.a. Danger Mouse) and James Mercer of The Shins and released their self titled record this March. I can best describe it as part pop, part electronic, part experimental, all melody and lots of fun, but I wasn’t sure how it would play out live. Turns out the live act was a total of 7 musicians, including 3 keyboards, 2 drum kits, trumpet, bass, and at times up to 4 guitarists. I enjoyed witnessing the music being transformed into something harder and edgier yet retaining its original qualities as well. The Electric Factory, one of my favorite rooms in Philadelphia, was almost at capacity Sunday night and my daughter and I had a great time. The band played almost the entire album, and filled in with covers that I would have originally thought were oddly chosen, but ended up fitting in perfectly: Smokey Robinson’s “You Really Got a Hold on Me” and a version of “Crimson and Clover” that was more reminiscent of Joan Jett than Tommy James. Broken Bells is definitely going to remain in heavy rotation throughout the summer.

http://www.brokenbells.com/

So those are the official blogs. Here's what I left out. At the Joseph Arthur show I was feeling real good, not artificially, but genuinely. Being in close proximity to a man and his electric guitar with all sorts of pedals and electronic devices sets my heart aflutter. Then when said man started painting and getting all messy, well, that completely did me in. I was head over heels. However, I regained my composure in time for a post-show conversation. The most hysterical part of that show was when my friend asked me for the artist's name, and for some crazy reason I replied with the name of one of his crew members. I know that doesn't sound funny at all right now, but we were cracking up over it. On the drive home, I was cracking up about it all by myself. It's one of those moments where you can look back, and laugh so hard your belly hurts.

At the Broken Bells show, which I attended with my daughter Teresa, we sat on bleachers at the back of the floor. Top row, which gave us a good, centered view of the stage. Usually at the factory, if I am not upstairs sitting on a stool in the bar area, I am right up front against the stage barrier, so this was a totally new position for me. I pointed her in the direction of the old posters from past shows and let her explore the venue on her own. I almost felt like I was passing on the torch. It seems now that I am taking my daughter to shows, I notice many more parents and kids in attendance as well, which is a good thing. We both cheered and clapped together during the show, but during the encore she wanted to stand up. So we did. Then I sat down, realizing that she was having an amazing time, dancing and going crazy as she should. So rather than be the embarrassing mom, I sat down and let her do her thing. I'm glad she wants to go with me to shows. Our next one will hopefully be EvelynEvelyn on Friday, which I will use for my next blog. It actually excites me to think about going to a concert, and having to write about it. I hope I can continue.

One more thing, my daughter also serves as my editor. She has no qualms about criticizing my writing, and honestly, besides being an awesome writer herself, she is much more familiar with the current grammatically correct writing style. This arrangement is a win-win for both of us.

My summer vacation will be spent in my bathroom

2010-03-06T17:33:00.004-05:00

I've been living in my current home just shy of 16 years now. Its definitely meets the criteria for the definition of home, mostly because I've raised my kids in this house and in this community. Having said that, I'm sure they feel more of a connection to this place than I do. I know I felt (and still do) a sort of possessiveness over the house I grew up in and the town in which it was located. I experienced all my firsts in that location, I am a by-product of that place and time. When I dream, home is that house in East Meadow, NY, and I suspect it always will be.

I am so eager to move on and make a home of my very own, for the very first time in my life. Now that it is within reasonable reach, I do know I will feel sad upon leaving this house because of the memories it holds. I hope that sadness is tempered by the excitement of something new.

However, this blog was prompted by an annoying aspect of home. Every year I try to make some sort of home improvement knowing that I need to keep the place in sellable shape and maintain a level of comfort for the years left in residence. Last year, we re-painted and decorated two bedrooms. The year before that I had some trees trimmed, I've replaced the fence and had the driveway and apron re-done. There have been several minor maintenance jobs in between. This year, I have no choice but to remodel the main bathroom. I've been wanting to remodel the kitchen, but the bathroom cannot wait. I had 2 contractors come out to take a look and am now waiting for their estimates. I have a sinking feeling the expense is going to be more than I bargained for.

Of course, the trees are in need of trimming once again, the driveway needs re-sealing, the deck is way over due for new stain and seal, a door needs repair, and I've also noticed something (probably plural) is living in my flower bed. This is all forgetting the desired kitchen remodel.

Update: I received both estimates and went with the cheaper one, mostly because I've seen his work and liked it. The estimate is just above the amount of my entire tax return plus my merit increase I received in one lump sum on Friday. So that's it, there goes everything else and I'll keep my fingers crossed nothing breaks down until next year this time. I've already decided not to spend the usual week at the Jersey shore with my girls. We'll be spending a week at Grandma's instead. As for my own personal vacation, that remains to be seen. I'd feel pretty guilty taking a vacation on my own and canceling the one with the girls. However, they are going on vacation with their dad the first week of August, which of course coincides with Lollapalooza. If Soundgarden is at Lolla, I have no choice but to scrape together the dough and make it happen. I'd regret it otherwise, and I am not about regrets in this lifetime. Short of that, I don't know. I don't want to set myself up for a shortfall if something comes up that I have to deal with. I won't dig further into savings either. I'm all I have.

I hate decision making when it comes to home improvements vs. fun. I will force myself to take long bubble baths, with a glass of wine, listening to jazz music. I know how rejuvenating that can be. I'm hoping it will be even more so in a nice bathroom.

The other part of this that sucks is that this is the year where I finally have extra vacation time. I have places I want to go, the time to do it, but not the funds. I'm trying to stay positive and have already begun to look at local places that I have yet to take advantage of. In that respect, perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. In keeping with my positive attitude, I will make it so.

Hodophobia

2010-02-09T18:31:00.002-05:00

On the eve of the second major snowfall in less than a week, I thought I'd write a little about the hodophobia I apparently suffer from. My daughter diagnosed me at the dinner table a couple of weeks ago when I cancelled plans, due to the snow, disappointing myself and others.

Here are the 9 symptoms of hodophobia taken from wrongdiagnosis.com:

Irrational fear of travel
Feeling of panic
Feeling of terror
Feeling of dread
Rapid heartbeat
Shortness of breath
Trembling
Anxiety
Extreme avoidance measures taken

Taking a look at these, I can make a strong case against having this. I definitely don't have an irrational fear of travel altogether. I'll get on a bus, a train, even a plane, no problem. I love to drive. Give me a beautiful day, an open road, some good tunes and I'm am happy as a pig in you-know-what. I look forward to those days. Add torrential downpours, snow, or dark, winding, unfamiliar roads and that's when my fear sets in. I won't call it irrational, because to me, it's entirely rational.

I definitely don't experience panic, terror, dread, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, or trembling. But that's due to symptom #9. I won't drive when any of the above conditions are present, so I don't experience symptoms 2-7.

Do I take 'extreme avoidance measures'? Depends on your definition of extreme. Have I cancelled plans due to the weather? Yes. Have I rearranged an entire weekend trip, spent a fortune on trains, and added hours to my travel time just so I didn't have to drive in the rain? Guilty.

In my defense, this all started after a bad accident in the snow, where I hit a patch of ice and flew across a 4 lane expressway, taking down a couple of other cars with me, and thinking I had just murdered my entire family.

Post traumatic stress disorder? Ok, so maybe I have hodophobia limited to driving and bad weather conditions. I wonder if there's a specific word for that. If I had to leave the house in the next couple of days to find out, well then, hodophobia it is.

Samsara

2010-02-06T16:07:00.005-05:00

I barely blogged in 2009, so when I started blogging again this year (I've blogged more in one month than I did in the entire year prior), I looked at the possibility of revamping my blog. I changed some things, still want to add some links, and am toying with others. However one thing I took a long, hard look at was the name of my blog, Samsara. I wanted to remember why I decided upon that name and to explore what it means to me now, to determine if a change was in order. I ultimately decided to keep the name, but thought a blog of rationalization/relevance might be the way to go. This will be totally self-indulgent, but that's redundant in itself since the very idea and word 'blog' could be an entry in the dictionary under self-indulgence. Redundancy abounds, it seems!

The name of this blog comes from The Tea Party song by the same name. I love this song and this (unfortunately, defunct) band. Here are the lyrics:

Please would you tell me my friend
Which direction is the way
Because I'm lost, I'm confused
This reality we choose
is a long, long way from the dream

All you'll feel is pain and suffering
Wading through Samsara

Yes but i've heard that before
From those teachers of dreams
But it's old and it's cold
I just can't feel it in my soul
Am i damned to a life of extremes

All you'll feel is pain and suffering
Wading through Samsara

But I've looked to the east
And I've prayed in the west
What I know, I've seen
You just couldn't imagine
Where I've been
And I feel at this time
I just need to rest
And i'd like us to stay here
I would love us to stay here
Would you let me stay here, please...

Dictionary.com's definition of Samsara: The eternal cycle of birth, suffering, death, and rebirth.

At the same time I was thinking about this, I was reading my We'Moon for 2010. This year's theme is "Reinvent the Wheel". From the introduction to the theme, "The Wheel is an ancient metaphor for the great cycles of Karma/Destiny/Fate, of Life and Death. From the nucleus of an atom to the hub of the universe, through the Wheel of the Year and the flux of life cycles, we are caught up in the mysterious turns of personal, planetary and galactic rhythms." Of course my synchronicity radar perked up at that.

A google search led me to an article that starts out like this: Samsara literally means "wandering-on." A few paragraphs later the author talks about the Buddha wanting to stop Samsara-ing, because it's like giving up an addiction and we can learn to stop creating worlds of suffering. Now maybe I'm not reading into this correctly, (and I'm aware the end of Samsara indicates the end of suffering and attaining Nirvana) but in my own interpretation, if Samsara is the process of giving up the self-imposed suffering, and indeed wandering on, to the next thing - then hopefully one has learned from the previous incarnation, and won't make the same mistake twice. But one can only, truly Samsara, if they've given something up, or recovered from something and learned from it. I think continual growth and moving on, the process in itself, is a major part of life. Sure we suffer, but knowing there is another step, knowing it is a process, does help. I'm not saying anyone should be pleased with suffering, but that only by experiencing it does one know what they don't want and can make the decision to Samsara to the next, better thing. Now I'm no Buddhist, and this is purely my own take on things, but I don't think Samsara should end, just like the Wheel, its continually turning, life in motion.

I wouldn't mind hearing any other expert opinions and interpretations. This is definitely something I'm interesting in learning more about. It seems the more I read, the more confused I sometimes get.

Personally, I feel like I have definitely experienced a Samsara of sorts, and I'm sure it's not the last one. So the title Samsara is imminently relevant and meaningful to me, and I'm sticking with it!

My personal best music of 2009

2010-01-31T18:29:00.003-05:00

I know this is way late, but I've been meaning to do this for some time, if that counts for anything. My list is highly personal, its based solely on the music I obsessed over, the cds that were continually in the cd player in the car and on the ipod, the ones I drove my kids crazy with. So without further ado, here is my 'personal' list of the best music of 2009.

10.One Eskimo I first heard this band on XPN and then looked them up on myspace. I listened repeatedly to all their profile songs for days. Something about this band, I can't pinpoint it but I love them. I also love the fact that there are animated adventures to go along with the music. You can't say that about many bands. I put them at #10 for two reasons, because I discovered them late in the year, and I haven't been able to find their cd for purchase which by default cuts down their air time.

9.Bell X1 - Blue Lights on the Runway - another band I first heard on XPN. They're from Ireland, which says a lot, I tend to gravitate toward Irish musicians. This cd is sweet ("this must be what all the fuss is about" - Light Catches Your Face) and edgy ("You're just picking your knickers from your arse" - One Stringed Harp). Favorite songs are , How Your Heart is Wired, and Amelia (about Amelia Earhart). I was lucky enough to catch their show at World Cafe. "Just like flying..."

8.White Rabbits - It's Frightening - percussion heavy band, and yes, heard them on XPN again. I also saw them at a Free At Noon session at World Cafe over the summer. Walked there and back in the hot sun. It was definitely worth it, the band has a energetic stage presence and it was a great set. I regret not seeing them elsewhere in Philly this year, I know of 2 other shows I missed.

7.Swell Season - Strict Joy - This was an album I was anticipating in 2009. Glen Hansard (of The Frames and Ireland) and Marketa Irglova make up the Swell Season. This cd was the follow up to the music from Once, the movie they both starred in together. I loved that music and movie and was not disappointed with Strict Joy. Beautiful, emotional, real music. Paper Cup and Back Broke are two favorites, but it's hard to choose. I love their live show as well. I love seeing Glen live, period. I caught them in October at the Merriam Theater, My friend and I had corner seats next to a huge column, it was like we had our own box seats!

6.Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue - Another highly anticipated album, one that could have gone either way given this is AiC's first album without Layne Staley and after a long break. This is the only artist on this list that I have a long history with. When I listen to this, I am brought back to another time, 'grunge' is alive again and damn, if it isn't still relevant. I like listening to this cd from start to finish, I feel as if 'All Secrets Known' is an ode to Layne and 'Black Gives Way to Blue' is a nod to the present and future. I missed AiC when they came around this year, but I am seeing them twice in March and I can't wait!!

5.Brendan Benson - My Old, Familiar Friend -I've posted about this cd a couple of times in my blog already, so I won't go into much more detail here. I knew Brendan from the Raconteurs, but first heard this cd on, yes, XPN. I've thoroughly enjoyed it.

4.Passion Pit - Manners - By far, the most infectious, upbeat music of my listening year. The Reeling, Sleepyhead, Moths' Wings - I still can't get enough. I caught these guys at Lollapalooza. I was by myself at that point, at the biggest dance party in Grant Park. The kind of music I would not describe myself being a fan of, but I totally am.

3.Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amander Palmer - I love this girl, and her art. She's just the coolest thing on the planet right now. She blogs, she tweets, she acts, she does net parties, and man, can she sing and perform. She is one half of the Dresden Dolls and this was her first solo cd. I've quoted Ampersand throughout the year. Runs in the Family, Have to Drive, Oasis are other stand-outs. The entire cd is wonderful. I'm also in possession of the accompanying dvd of music videos and the piece de resistance, A Collection of Photographic Evidence. I met Amanda in November after her show here in Philly and she signed my book, along with photographer Kyle Cassidy. If there was an artist on this list, I'd like to push on friends, Amanda is it.

2.Kings of Leon- Only by the Night - Closer, Notion, Use Somebody, Sex on Fire. These guys rocked in 2009. They just won a few grammys for this record too. I think one word can sum up why I placed them ahead of Amanda on this list - yum. Let's just say this band satisfies many musical needs. I saw these guys twice this year, once here in Philly, and of course, at Lollapalooza, which was a blast. Only by the Night was on heavy rotation in 2009.

1. Soulsavers - Broken- This is a no-brainer for me since the vocals on this cd are largely performed by my favorite best voice of forever, Mark Lanegan. Another outstanding vocal performance is by Red Ghost, on none other than a Mark Lanegan song, Praying Ground. This is music I connect with on deep levels. No other voice affects me like Mark's does. Besides this cd being my personal #1, meeting Mark after the show in Cleveland in September is probably the most memorable moment of the year for me.

Ok, to sum up, half these cd's are XPN finds. Yes, I am a member. I've seen 8 out of 10 of these artists live. Now that I read this back, I wonder if I misplaced some of these cd's, but I will leave the order as is. That was my first response. I love music. I love wine. And right now, I love snow. I reserve the right to change that feeling tomorrow.

Tattoo Idea

2010-01-27T18:05:00.005-05:00

This is probably the closest I've come to actually envisioning what I'd want for a tattoo. That's because I finally found a really cool place for one. Saturday night, the opening artist, had a tattoo on her wrist, not the inside of her wrist, the outside. It was where a watch would normally sit, which is good, just in case a situation calls for it to be covered up. Long sleeves would do the trick too. But the tattoo was small, and real classy looking to my eyes. My first idea for a tattoo was the Chinese character for 'dream'.

It's small and simple. I've always associated with this symbol, I even have it hanging on the wall in my office, but something didn't sit quite right. Then it came to me:

I am a dreamer.

THIS is what I want tattooed on my body. I really, really want it now. Time to make it happen.

Musical Discoveries

2010-01-23T23:13:00.003-05:00

Today has just been the most amazing day. I didn't set out for it to be that way, I wasn't expecting it, nothing majorly special occurred. It just happened - which is probably why it was so exciting. I knew I had to finish cleaning the house today and hit the grocery store. I woke up at 10am, which is later than I wanted to, but it's the time my body wakes up when an alarm clock doesn't tell it otherwise. I keep waiting for that to change, but it hasn't. I decided to exercise first and get the blood flowing, that was probably the first good decision of the day. After that I sat with my coffee and wasted time on the computer. I shouldn't say 'wasted time', the computer catch-up with the outside world is really the modern day equivalent of sitting around reading the newspaper on a weekend morning. When I had my fill I set about to the task of cleaning.

Of course, I had to have a soundtrack to my labor and I chose Brendan Benson's "My Old Familiar Friend". That cd is definitely on my top 5 or 10 of the year, if I ever get around to writing that blog. I listened to it a total of 2 1/2 times, and that is only because upon dusting my computer keyboard I somehow hit a key that turned the mute on for my computer speakers. I couldn't have done that if I tried, and it took me a bit to figure out that's just what I did. Definitely the snafu of the day, considering I usually break something every time I clean, it was only a mild disturbance. This record took on a whole new meaning for me today. I'm not sure if I felt empowered by it, or because of my existing feeling of empowerment, it resonated with me stronger than ever before.

The cd starts out with these lyrics:

"Take a seat cause there's something I wanna say
Take it easy, don't take it the wrong way

I feel a whole lot better when you're not around
I feel a whole lot better when you're not around

In and out of love, in and out of love"

and ends with these:

"You won't have to borrow
and you won't have to beg
Not likely to follow
Not so easily led

And there's nothing really I can do
and there's nothing really I could say
you do what you want to do
you don't see it any other way, any other way
you don't care what other people say"

and runs the gamut in-between, all infused with infectious pop hooks. I love this cd. As i tweeted, I was having an epiphanous day.

After the cleaning was done, I decided to take a bath. The soundtrack to my bath was David Berkeley. I had first heard his music earlier in the week, when I received an email from the PSALM salon announcing upcoming shows. For some reason, I clicked on the link in the email and was happily surprised. I streamed the music from his myspace page and it was the perfect length for a meditation bath salts and nag champa soap bath. If I was feeling good before the bath, I was feeling amazing afterwards and knew I would go see the PSALM show tonight.

I always feel kind of uncomfortable going out solo, but I wasn't about to let that hold me back.
The musical discovery title of this blog is all about David Berkeley. As I found out tonight, the man's got quite the repertoire and the following. For many of his songs tonight, he took requests from the audience. The audience in this case, was about 50 people, so that's saying something!

PSALM bills itself as Philly's most intimate venue, which it is. It's in a house. The merch table is the kitchen table, along with free wine, food and drink, and homemade Chinese food for $5, which lots of people bought to go. I'll have to remember that for next time, I spent all my spare cash on merch.

I am so, so glad I went to this show tonight. The opener, Jessy Tomsko, is also a promising singer/songwriter. I felt right 'at home' in the venue and was treated to many more songs than I had previously listened to. David told a couple of serenade stories to go along with his songs. I was smiling ear to ear remembering my serenade in the bathtub this afternoon! My favorite song going in was "Fire Sign" and I was so glad when that was suggested by a member of the audience.

should have told me
seemed like an ordinary day
everything seemed to be okay

did it hurt you
these are the scars you never show.
she is a fire sign you know.
one day you're near and then you go

here is a photograph
what do you see
its nothing there but me
oh in the aftermath it hard to breathe
and harder to believe

they deceive you
there was a wall you had to find
the echoes in your mind

you'll surrender
these are the lessons that you learn
no body hears, no one's concerned
one days its clear and then you burn

here is a photograph
what do you see
sorry its just me
oh in the aftermath it hards to breathe
and harder to believe

even just a sound and all your cards are down
even just a sound
let me lie you down, don't have to make a sound
I would lie you down

It surrounds you
sometimes it's easy to believe
sometimes it hurts more then it seems

now it's over
these are the scars you never show
there was a warning sign, you know

one day your near and then you go
one day your near and then you go
one day your near and then you go

Vision Seeding Ritual

2010-01-17T13:58:00.002-05:00

I'm reposting this from a myspace blog I wrote before I had this blog. I referenced this ceremony in my Recap of 2009/Wishes for 2010 blog but failed to go into detail, so here it is. I'm beginning to see a trend in my wishes....

For the third year, my daughters and I have performed a 'vision seeding ritual' to effectively plant our seeds or wishes and send them out to the universe. We like to call it our 3 wishes ceremony. I took the idea from a book called Moon Mother Moon Daughter, which I highly recommend to anyone with coming of age daughters. The book suggests ways to reconnect our daughters to the lunar cycle and goddess myths that have been lost in our consumer culture. It celebrates the girls' approaching womanhood and focuses on a community of women.

We have our ceremony between Christmas and New Years, any night that it is just the 4 of us and we have some time to ourselves. The first year the girls were resistant and pretty weirded out, but as soon as we got going they amazed me. Now they are used to it and I start reminding them a few days prior to begin thinking about their wishes for the new year.

I light a candle in the middle of the table and we all sit around it. We each have a pen and paper, and beforehand we cut out 'seeds' from construction paper. We take about 10-15 minutes to write out our wish lists on the paper. Once that is done we share them and identify our 3 favorites, or the 3 that mean the most to us. The best part of the ritual comes next, we find the word that signifies the essence of our wishes. Every year I am amazed at the words they come up with.

We then go round the table and take turns 'planting' our seeds in a brown paper bag. I've used the same bag since the first year, so its been fun pulling out our wishes from previous years and discussing how and in what ways they came true. I should mention that often the seeds are decorated with all sorts of doodles, drawings and phrases appropriate to the wish. When each of us sends out our wish to the universe, we all hoot and holler along, giving that wish much emphasis and power!

This year I went in knowing the essence of my wishes, much to the girls chagrin because they wanted to help in finding just the right word. Next year, I may leave the essence in their hands.

So the purpose of this lengthy blog is to state my wishes for 2008, even though I feel corny as hell in doing so. Here goes anyway: my wishes for 2008 are romance, joy, and abundance.

Hopefully it won't take me until the end of 2008 to blog about my progress..

Transition to Paradise, or About Me, and most importantly Haiti

2010-01-15T19:31:00.003-05:00

So, I've been blogging in my head over the past few days. Many things on my mind, not the least of which is the situation in Haiti. My fascination with Haiti began when I first read Edwidge Danticat's, The Farming of Bones. Soon after, I found out my cousins were planning to adopt a Haitian boy. Definitely one of those coincidences in life I have learned to pay attention to. Since then, I have read Danticat's, Brother I'm Dying, and my cousins have permanently moved to Haiti with their family. Besides being deeply affected by the tragic earthquake this week as a human, my personal ties have made the burden I carry that much heavier.

Speaking of burdens, the transition I speak of is about releasing a burden I've been carrying with me for quite some time. An emotional burden. One I have now effectively severed ties with in the present tense, however the history associated with this burden and the habit of carrying it around is making it much more difficult to release it for good. Though I am getting better at it every day. Actually as I type this and reflect on the most recent events surrounding it, I realize I am in it and I'm not feeling it. It's almost as if....do I dare say it?....yes, I really don't care anymore. Whatever's whatever. I'm not going to let it take up anymore of my energy. Paradise.
See? Transition to paradise. Exactly.

I intended to write about the lunar eclipse that ushered in the new year and the solar eclipse of today and the effects it had on my sign, Cancer. I'm not feeling the urge to post my own interpretation anymore. Suffice to say that it was supposed to have a huge impact on a close relationship and my needs, and it certainly has.

Another easy segue; now for the 'About Me' part of this blog. I've come to the conclusion that in most of the important relationships in my life, it's never been 'about me'. Not that it has to be all the time, or even most of the time, but it should never be 'this is not about you' or 'you shouldn't be feeling that way'. Never. If two people are involved, even if the discussion revolves around only one of them, the other one obviously cares enough to be there, and should be valued as such. Not devalued, or used. I've put myself in that position way too often. It's time to focus my energies elsewhere.

On the personal front, I am stronger. I desperately wish I could do more for those in need in Haiti. I believe I spoke about that dreaded helpless feeling in my last blog. Here is the link to my cousins' organization. Please help.

Joy in Hope

2009 Survey

2010-01-09T16:31:00.004-05:00

Better late than never, but being that Mercury is still retrograde I think my time is well spent on these reflections. See my previous blog for more details.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I starting seeing a chiropractor on a regular basis. I decorated my room for the first time ever as an adult, which sounds pretty pathetic, but until this year I never had my room painted and redone as an adult on my own. I went to a bike race. I went to Cleveland for the first time.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My new year's resolution's are better described as intentions. My girls and I have a ceremony each year between the solstice and the new year and send out our intentions to the universe with a flourish. It's awesome to see how theirs have evolved as they've matured. Ok, so mine for last year were.....well, I can't seem to find them. I had them recently because we always look back at our wishes for the previous year and talk about how they were realized. I reserve the right to come back and edit this once I find them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, my cousins family is constantly growing but not by birth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?
Sadly, I did not leave the United States this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I'll echo Chrys here and say romance, which was one of my wishes for 2010. It's time. I also wished for excitement which I now realize that I have to somehow balance that with satisfying my spiritual side. I definitely felt a spiritual lacking in 2009. Not that spiritual endeavors can't be enjoyable, but I have to temper wild times with some grounding methodologies. But man, I still crave excitement! My third wish for 2010 was health, good health. 2009 wasn't exactly a healthy year for myself and those around me.

Those were my top 3 wishes for 2010. However, my list didn't end there. Along with the aforementioned spiritual activities, I would also like to kick up my creativity by several notches. I would like to keep my job, to not hibernate all winter long, to travel further this year and spend more time with friends, to complete some long overdue home improvement projects, and to have enough funds to cover all that.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 24 - Christa's first visit to the orthopedic specialist
Most of August - Lollapalooza and my family reunion
September 26 - met Mark Lanegan
December 11
December 18

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Wow, offhand I can't think of one biggest achievement of the year. Perhaps remaining optimistic in the face of adversity? Surviving and realizing my own strength? Not letting anything get in the way of what I know needs to be done? Yes, yes and yes. In a nutshell, I'd call it taking care of my family.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Since I have to answer this question, it would be not keeping up with my creative and spiritual sides. I missed that in 2009.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Anything bad?
I suffered from pain and numbness in my right arm. This resulted in an MRI and weeks of visits to the chiropractor and physical therapy. I have some arthritis in my neck, and some spinal disc herniation and degeneration. All along, the docs who looked at my films advised I have the same problem on both sides, although I was only feeling it on the right side. As of a few days ago, the numbness surfaced down my left arm. This means maintenance visits to the chiropractor and continuing with my home exercise regimen and use of the my manual traction device.

11. What were the best things you bought?
I bought a new larger crock pot and I am loving the hell out of it! I obsessed on orange this past summer and purchased several orange tops as well as several orange bags and even a pair of orange sandals! Of course, a new bedspread, curtains, and accessories for my room. Plane tickets and books and cd's round out the 'best' list.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter Christa for being so brave and strong this year. Her treatments took up so much of her time, and she almost never complained, never used them or her scoliosis to get out of doing anything, and still pulled a straight A in school and kept up with her extra curricular activities as well. She is my hero!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-husband. A corporation. Me sometimes.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Medical expenses, medical expenses, and food. Food got really expensive this year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Cleveland to see Soulsavers! Going to Lolla to see TOOL!

16. What song/s will always remind you of 2009?
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead. Love this song, it's impossible to listen and not smile and bob along. I needed that this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Probably sadder, but I don't plan on staying that way.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Same.
iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer overall. The bank accounts took a hit this year.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd taken myself on more artist dates. I wish I'd seen more movies, read more books and gone to more concerts.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less worrying and less anger. I wish I didn't let my emotions get the best of me on a few occasions. I wish I didn't let my girls see me at my worst moments.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with family as usual.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Nope.

22. How many one-night stands?
Can I plead the fifth on this one? I'm tempted to use the old hand standard. LOL, I know Chrys will remember that one.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Dexter and True Blood. I can't say enough about either show. Who do I love more, a vampire or a serial killer?

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a very strong word and I don't like to use it. Feelings have changed over the year, but I don't hate anyone.

26. What was the best book you read?
The surprise of the year for me was Outlander byDiana Gabaldon. It was recommended to me by Tricia during our visit to Bookhaven. It's a book about a time traveling woman with a husband in 1940's war torn England and a young Scots warrior lover in 1743. At first it seemed kinda light for my tastes, but who am I kidding? I couldn't put it down. Luckily for me, it's a series so I have plenty of sequels to spend lonely nights with.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm finding there is so much new music to devour every year. One of the things I am forever grateful for. My personal favorites this year: Soulsavers - Broken, The Swell Season - Strict Joy, Regina Spektor -Far (her cd hasn't let my car stereo in months!), Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue, Passion Pit- Chunk of Change (this technically was released in 2008, but I don't own the full length cd that was released in 09) and One Eskimo, whose cd I don't own because I can't find it anywhere but whose music took me by surprise. Brenda Benson deserves a mention too, I spent a lot of time with My Old, Familiar Friend this year. I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting.

28. What did you want and get?
Hmmm, I can't think of anything.

29. What did you want and not get?
Something that was owed to me, which I'll never recover.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Coraline was my most anticipated movie of the year. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, yum) Watchmen. The Reader. Up. I didn't see many movies this year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
42, and what did I do? I have no recollection. I'm sure my girls made me feel special.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Keeping a cool head.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
What personal fashion concept? As long as it's comfy and keeps me warm/cool in appropriate weather, it works for me. Although I did have a notion to wear more dresses this summer which resulted in me buying and wearing exactly 1 dress. I've already had my eye on others for this year's warmer months. I have invested in many pieces of jewelry. My wardrobe has to catch up with that. Like I mentioned, I was completely drawn to orange this year. Like I had to have it. Now I'm thinking maybe I should come up with a fashion plan.

34. What kept you sane?
My responsibilities.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mark Lanegan. Can he be really be considered a celebrity/public figure though? Only in a small circle. So I'll also mention my favorite vampire and serial killer, Stephen Moyer and Michael C. Hall.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health Care reform. It affects me on so many levels, as a citizen, as a consumer and as an employee.

37. Who did you miss?
My west coast friends. That's usually the case every year.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
The best new person I met this year would have to be Dr. Brandie, our chiropractor. She's helped both Christa and myself this year, and will continue to help us along with Teresa in 2010.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
I don't know that I learned anything particularly new but some life lessons were definitely reiterated. For example, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. You can't help anyone unless they want to help themselves. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade! Ha

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I'm thinking of so many, but they are all moments in time, not representative of the entire year.
I'm going to go with Lesson Learned by Brendan Benson.

Forget what you see
and what you thought was true
Its not really me
Speaking to you
Forget how you feel
Forget all your dreams
'Cause nothing is real
Its not how it seems

Forget what you've heard
And all that was said
the lines get blurred
Its all in your head
Forget what is right
Forget who you are
When you see the light
Its no longer a star

And we'll chalk it up to a lesson learned
And hopefully, by now you'll senses have returned
And I guess its back to the drawing board
To recreate the conversation
With no lack of communication
And to wait for sanity to be restored

This survey took a chunk of time, but I think it was well worth it. I cannot wait to get into the thick of 2010. I just started reading a book tonight that I'm hoping will set the tone for the entire year. I'm sure I'll be blogging about that at some point :)

Recap of 2009/ Wishes for 2010

2010-01-03T16:24:00.007-05:00

Another year gone, and by the end of this one, I was more than glad to see it go. Of course, it had its many highlights, most notably my previous blog, but there were plenty of low points as well. I'll try and focus on the good stuff.

The year started off splendidly in January with a Facebook High School Reunion. The day and night were so much fun and it was an amazing experience to rekindle some lost friendships and remind myself why others never got old.

February brought perhaps the biggest and most worrisome event of all. Christa was diagnosed with scoliosis, severe enough to require follow-ups and complete uncertainty due to her still growing body. Thanks to my good friend Gina for setting me straight and pointing us in the chiropractic direction. Christa's last x-ray in August resulted in another 'wait and see' diagnosis, but at least I feel I'm doing something for her in the meantime. One of the worst feelings for me is helplessness and I felt that more than once this year.

March brought another huge blow, financially and emotionally. The effects of this carried through the entire year and I'm afraid I'll be feeling them for the next several years.

I spent a weekend in April with my good friend Tricia. We went to see Kings of Leon together, spent hours in a used book store, toured Eastern State Penitentiary (I did that with Tam too, in March) and generally rediscovered our friendship. We had the best time! I felt like I was 17 again, only this time we could get into as much trouble as we wanted!

In June, Tam and I went to the bike race in Manayunk. Long one of my favorite places in Philly, this event was pretty exciting. I hope to do it again. I also bailed on the PJ Harvey concert that night, which unfortunately became a staple for me this year. So many concerts to attend, and I let my travel/weather fears turn me into my mother :(

July is always a family friendly month with our annual July 4th extravaganza at my mom's in Southampton. I should mention that my cousin Dominick moved to the Philadelphia area from Florida in June. It has been great having him around, and having my girls get to know him. We also spent a week in Ocean City, NJ in July.

August brought 2 major events. (Hmm, now I'm starting to think the year wasn't so bad after all....) Lollapalooza and our first ever Mangine Family reunion. Lollapalooza was a blast, as it always is spending time with my amazing friends. Seeing Tool tour behind absolutely nothing wasn't so bad either. Other band highlights for me were Band of Horses, Passion Pit, Kings of Leon (again) and even Snoop Dogg because the crowd was contagious! I'm sure I'm missing lots of bands here. Making memories with my friends is always the best part - there were the tablecloth ponchos, the red contact lens, Maynard's wine in a high rise condo, sitting round a fire, and of course the Pants! I love Chicago!

Our family reunion was another unforgettable experience. I hope we continue it as an annual tradition. The setting this year was superb, at my cousins' KC and Kristi's farm in upstate New York. I know my girls will never forget that weekend. Let's see, playing "I'm Going on a Picnic" and making s'mores round the fire, getting odd looks at the Farmer's Market for our matching t-shirts, getting rained on after our cookout, Cooperstown and the Baseball Hall of Fame and of course getting in trouble at the hotel!

September started out with Teresa's Sweet 16 party, which I think she really appreciated and enjoyed. The month ended with the aforementioned highlight of the year, my trip to Cleveland and meeting Mark Lanegan.

Edgar Allen Poe dominated my October. First was his funeral in Baltimore and then Haunted Poe at Halloween.

November was quite the concert month for me. I won Mother of the Year award by taking Julia and Christa to see Miley Cyrus (NOT Hannah Montana!). I redeemed myself by seeing The Swell Season and Amanda Palmer.

Who can forget my crazy weekend in NYC in December? As I've said, that was one for the record books, and that's all I'll say, lol. The year also included several day trips to NYC, Christa's tap competitions, a night spent listening to Maya Angelou, a couple of Phillies games, and other excursions, like the National Cathedral in DC. Unfortunately December also included another worrisome, helpless feeling situation. I'm usually one to focus on the positive, however my nature is to want to fix things and set things on the right path again. When I am helpless in this regard, when there is nothing I can do but worry from afar, which doesn't help matters at all, this sets my personal world into a huge tizzy. I'm still recovering from that.

After putting the whole year into perspective, it wasn't half bad, the highs were real high, and the lows were very low. That's life though. I guess I wouldn't want it any other way, because how then would I appreciate what I do have? Having said that, there is always room for more. Hence my 3 wishes for 2010, which I will just list here, rather than elaborate, in order to infuse them with more power:

Health +
Excitement!!
Romance <3

I am more than ready for 2010 and whatever it may bring. One final word: Soundgarden!

Soulsavers featuring Mark Lanegan

2009-09-27T18:12:00.004-04:00

This blog has been sitting in drafts for over 3 months. I'm posting it as is, because I want to get to the real deal - My end of year 2009/wishes for 2010 blog. All of my 3 readers know the ending to this story anyway :)

Once again, I've slacked off on the blog. Unapologetically I might add. But the events of this past weekend are a great excuse for getting it down, before I forget the details, because I'll want to remember this for a long time to come.

Soulsavers released a new record last month, another collaboration with Mark Lanegan. A short US tour was announced. No Philly date so I got it in my head to travel to Cleveland for the show there. It was on a Saturday night and I could spend time with my friend and fellow Lanegan devotee, Sergio. Sergio snagged the tickets and I started looking for flights. I wasn't having much luck and flight prices kept increasing the closer the show got. I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to miss Mark this time around. I told Sergio I wouldn't be able to make it.

I began to search around for other plans for the weekend. On Wednesday, on a whim, I went online and looked up flights again. Hmm, I found a round trip flight that would have me to Cleveland and back in just over 24 hours at a price I could afford. The wheels started turning. I quickly contacted Sergio to make sure he hadn't made other plans. He hadn't. It was a go. Holy Smokes! I was going to Cleveland to see Soulsavers and Mark Lanegan!!

Brandywine River Museum

2009-05-17T09:51:00.003-04:00

I've blogged about this museum before, but felt compelled to do it again, as this year's trip and exhibit proved just as interesting and inspiring as the last. This place is on my list of neverending things to do and places to visit and when I had my choice of mother's day activities, rather than deal with Philly crowds and traffic, I chose to go here.

The current exhibit, which ends today actually is Elegant Enigmas: The Art of Edward Gorey. I saw a little snippet of an illustration and was immediately intrigued. It seemed familiar, humorous and childlike, yet completely bizarre and twisted - which makes for a must see. Upon entering the exhibit, the first thing I see is a huge, full length fur coat which gave me an immediate sense of curiosity. Who would wear this thing? And maybe, more importantly, what could someone who routinely wore this monstrosity be capable of creating? Turns out I was not disappointed. I love the fact that Gorey not only illustrated, but wrote as well, giving insight to his art .

Goreyography gives a great review of the exhibit. Unlike, Elihu Vedder, Gorey's art was more accessible (i.e. reasonably priced) so I came away with a copy of Amphigorey and The Fantod Pack, which has since been the source of great joy as I've given several lovely, doom filled readings to my children, lol.

On a completely different note, while at the museum, we also took a tour of N.C. Wyeth's house and studio, as well as re-visiting the permanent exhibits and grounds. Next time, I'd like to visit the Kuerner Farm as well as other Brandywine Valley spots such as the Battlefield. I look forward to next year's exhibit as well, whatever it will be. Probably the best thing about this Mother's Day was that I was given the gift of "no complaining" which enabled me to enjoy my day without interruption. Bliss!

2009-05-02T17:31:00.001-04:00

again testing

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2009-05-02T16:30:00.001-04:00

Testing. Just set up blogger from my phone.

Blogging in my head

2009-03-21T22:29:00.002-04:00

I added a logo to my blog tonight, B.W.O - Blogging without Obligation. What a refreshing idea. As months go by and I add nothing to my blog, semi-guilty thoughts run through my head. Why did I set up this blog in the first place if I never use it? Then I try to feed the ego with thoughts that I must have a pretty busy, exciting life if I never sit down to blog. Experience with no time to write about it. I wish - most of my experiences lately are driving 3 girls around town. I count the amount of times I am in and out of the house each day. Not such great fodder for blogging.

So I came across BWO from following another link on Kali's blog. I liked the idea so much, it inspired me to blog about it. That's a start anyway. But no, I won't abandon the blog because I never know when I might need it or plain want to use it. Lately, I have most definitely been blogging in my head, mostly during those rides around town. Nothing coherent is left by the time I get home and honestly, the last thing I want to do is sit at the computer and type.

Tonight, I'm using it to share the BWO find as well as keeping myself awake until I have to pick up Teresa from the high school. Tonight was the last performance of Hello Dolly and the cast and crew are staying late to clean up, then I have to run her to the cast party, which thankfully is a sleepover.

Damn, I'm exciting!

Food for Thought

2009-01-24T20:46:00.002-05:00

"Every act of perception is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination." ~Gerald M. Edelman

I read this today in a scientific context, but as soon as I read it, my mind went everywhere. I think experiences help to create our perceptions, just as our perceptions serve to feed our memories. It can be a vicious (or virtuous) cycle, but neither is ever a pure, unbiased act of thought. It'd be nice if we could train ourselves to perceive free from previous experience and judgments, and remember things in their true light. But alas, self preservation precludes us from that.

I'm going to ponder on this for a bit...

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile." -- William Cullen Bryant

2008-11-09T18:50:00.006-05:00

“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree” Emily Bronte

“Autumn burned brightly, a running flame through the mountains, a torch flung to the trees.” Faith Baldwin

“A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long.” E E Cummings

Every year in November, I spend some time in Valley Forge park at my self- proclaimed 'freedom tree' with the obelisk at my back, journaling. This year, it was earlier than usual and I was able to capture some color on the trees. I love this time of year, even with the knowledge of winter ahead, its beautiful to see nature slow down and shed its skin in preparation for the big sleep and ultimate rejuvenation.

Get Off My Lawn!

2008-10-02T17:05:00.006-04:00

It's garbage night. I'm running around the house making sure I have all the recyclables and anything I need to throw out. As it is, the living room is chock full of shopping bags full of old clothing and toys I'm waiting to give away, as well as tubs and boxes of fall decorations I'm in the middle of putting out - so I'm concentrating extra hard so I can clear out as much off the clutter as possible. Then out of the corner of my eye I see a kid (a big kid) run up my lawn. I jump to the door and start yelling as I see a big limb of my ever shrinking (I don't know what it is but it's pretty) tree laying across the side walk and hanging over the street. Then I yell louder "Yo! Yo! Get back here! You broke my tree!" (yes I'm so couth). Of course at this, the kids who are really young men start running. My own girls are hiding just in case it gets out that they live here and it's their mom who is the crazy woman.

I am so aggravated. I can't remove the limb myself, and if I could I'd be afraid I'd damage the tree further. Last spring, I had a dead limb cut off and I was so proud of the red leaves that bloomed after. It looked the best it had in a long time. And now, this. Plus, I can't leave the limb hanging like that for long so I'm in a quandary. Not to mention I'm gonna have to pay someone to remove it.

Freaking brats! This just reinforces the idea that I need to move. I keep shelling out money for the upkeep of the outside of the house (not beautifying mind you, just basic maintenance) every year, and ignoring the inside except when absolutely necessary, like clogged drains and animal traps. There'd be so much less outside work if I were in a townhome. Granted, I love planting flowers, I love the snow on the holly trees, I love the idea of a garden - but if I haven't done that in 15 years I doubt I will anytime soon. And now, with things the way they are, I won't make my move anytime soon.

The next morning I notice that the branch was conveniently bent back onto my lawn instead of over the sidewalk, however still attached to the tree. I appreciate whoever did that, that act bought me some time. Today while I was out, the lawn guys came to cut my lawn. They broke off the branch and moved it to a corner of my driveway. Again, more appreciation. I dragged the branch into the backyard to await the next bulk pickup and now all that's left is to find someone with a saw so I can attempt to shave off what's left of the branch and even it out. So after all my internal complaining, things did work out.

I know the kids were being just that, so I can summon up a modicum of understanding and forgiveness, however glad I am that they ran scared, because hopefully they'll think twice before playing around on someone else's tree. I can even forgive myself for becoming the old lady I despised as a kid.

Keep breathing :)

Summer's End

2008-09-17T16:47:00.012-04:00

I'm getting this in just under the wire. Since this was one of the busiest summers I can remember, I wanted to take a moment and try to sum it up for myself (reflect, ponder - it's one of my favorite pastimes).

It began in June with my trip to Orcas Island, which I meant to blog about at some length but never got around to. Suffice it to say that this island affects me like no other place and I came away, once again, with a different outlook and slightly changed. It still amazes me that such a place with unaltered natural beauty exists on this planet, never mind in our own country. It is a truly magical island, as soon as I step foot ashore, I feel IT. I had the time to really delve within and explore and came away with some new realizations - which I'm sure played a part in the progression of my life since then.

Chrys and I took a mid-week trip on the ferry to Vancouver Island and bussed it to Victoria. I've now crossed the border by boat, plane, bus and automobile. I think I've got it covered. Besides the fact that I was freezing, we had a wonderful adventure. We had no plans, just hopped the ferry and decided to wing it for the next 24 hours. It was a blast!

Up next was the July 4th annual weekend on Long Island. It was cold and rainy this year, so I never went in the pool. But that didn't stop the Scrabble!

I blogged about Lollapalooza in depth below, but before that was my daughter's Consortium Art Show. This is the real reason for this blog, it gives me an excuse to post her artwork.

This last one is part of the "Dark Collaboration" between my daughter and her friend. What I loved best about this is that outside the character descriptions which were on a huge piece of posterboard, there exists commentaries about the characters. In the original pic, you can easily read the commentary, but I will post it here:

"Goths can be patriotic too???"
"Marilyn Manson and Ziggy Stardust got drunk one day."
"He deserves to be drawn wearing a dirndl. It'd suit him."
"Now I feel like drawing him in a dress just to see how it'd look."
"Do it then! hahaha"

Ok, maybe that's a little too much insight into my teenager's mind.....

The summer wound up with a great, relaxing trip to Ocean City, NJ immediately followed by back to school and a big family wedding. Of course there were countless interesting moments in between. Now when I should be fretting about the onslaught of schoolwork and related events, I'm content to be back in my routine and not living out of a suitcase.

The New Classics: Books

2008-08-30T21:09:00.003-04:00

This is my long awaited (for me, anyway) follow up to The Big Read. EW composed a list of the 50 books they considered new classics, so this list is much more current than The Big Read. I wonder if more people have read these since their publication dates extend into the current century. Lots more of these are recognizable as movies. I've put comments next to the titles for the ones I've read or have something to say about.

The New Classics: Books

1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy (2006)
A father and son trudge across an ashen American landscape in the wake of some unnamed apocalypse, fighting off sexually predatory bandits, scavenging for food, uncovering charnel-house horrors, then moving on, constantly moving on, toward some mirage of a better future. We don't need writers of Cormac McCarthy's caliber to inform us of looming planetary catastrophes; we can read the newspaper for that. We need McCarthy to imagine the fate of the human soul if the worst really does come to pass; what he depicts in The Road is strange, awful, tender, and, in the end, surprising.

2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling (2000)
The first three Harry Potter novels were pure kid stuff until, unexpectedly, Rowling went epic and dark —killing children, resurrecting evil, and sending Harry to war.

3. Beloved, Toni Morrison (1987)
''Beloved'' is a slaughtered baby, a belligerent ghost, a single word carved on a headstone, and hands down the greatest novel ever written about American slavery.

4. The Liars’ Club, Mary Karr (1995) [read this in a book club and liked it, the author also wrote a memoir of her druggie years, guess her crazy childhood panned out]
Mother was much married and ''Nervous.'' Daddy liked to drink. Their home in Leechfield, Tex., was definitely ''Not Right.'' The dysfunctional childhood is now a staple of memoirs, but no one has handled the material with more artistry and wit.

5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth (1997)
After crazy Portnoy, priapic Sabbath, and manic early Zuckerman, Roth launched a resplendent new chapter of his career with this mature elegy for bourgeois mid-20th-century values, for middle-class industrial Newark, for all the lost promise of the handsome, dreamy Swede. Bonus: It teaches you how to make gloves.

6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane (2001)
A young girl is murdered; a father seeks revenge; a grimy multigenerational urban tragedy unfolds. Clint Eastwood's film is marvelous, but Lehane's brooding novel is even richer.

7. Maus, Art Spiegelman (1986/1991) [read parts of this cause it was assigned reading in my kid's 8th grade English class, graphic novel so it gets major points]
In Spiegelman's two-part retelling of his Polish- born father's experience in the Holocaust, the Jews are mice; the Germans, cats; the Americans, dogs. This harrowing masterpiece paved the way for a generation of graphic memoirists.

8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro (1996)
For 40 years, Munro has steadily churned out stunning short stories that read like compressed novels, conveying the sweep of a lifetime in a paragraph.

9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier (1997) [read this years ago and fumbled my way through it, i found it long and boring, but have yet to see the movie]
A walking tour of the lunacy of war, the power of memory, and the souls of men.

10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami (1997)
Murakami is a sly novelist for whom good and evil, fate and free will, and past and present are strange bedfellows. Here, Toru Okada's cat disappears — and sets in motion a mystery so surreal it would weird out David Lynch.

11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer (1997)
On May 10, 1996, Krakauer scaled Mount Everest. Eight other climbers lost their lives that day. Less than one year later, the guilt-ridden author released his searingly honest account, one of the best adventure books ever.

12. Blindness, José Saramago (1998) [I've read Saramago's The Double and loved it!]
An unforgettable fable about a city in the grip of a blindness epidemic. The good news: It's riveting. The bad news: This portrait of how mankind responds to desperate circumstances…well, it ain't togetherness.

13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (1986–87) [Watchmen! Need I say more?]
The greatest superhero story ever told and proof that comics are capable of smart, emotionally resonant narratives worthy of the label literature.

14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates (1992)
In just 154 pages, Oates delivers a knockout punch of a novel inspired by Chappaquiddick, the archetypal story of an idealistic woman done in by the carelessness of a powerful man.

15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers (2000)
The magazines, the literacy centers, the philanthropic efforts for Sudanese refugees: The whole McSweeney's phenomenon started with Eggers' mischievous, affecting memoir about raising his kid brother at age 21 after the sudden death of both their parents.

16. The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood (1986) [One of the most influential books I've read, this was on The Big Read's list too, as it should be]
After 1984 came and went without ado, we needed a new futuristic dystopia to haunt our sleep. Atwood obliged, dreaming up the Republic of Gilead, a grim theocracy where women are valued solely for their ability to bear children.

17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez (1988)
Nobelist García Márquez's luxuriant work of magical realism, about star-crossed lovers in an unnamed Caribbean nation, has rightly become a classic.

18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike (1990)
Popping roasted peanuts and still unable to resist a pretty woman (even one married to his own son), Rabbit drifts to his death — as baffled and rudderless as when he debuted in 1960. A majestic finale to Updike’s quartet.

19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith (2005)
A rich, old-fashioned novel about contemporary cultural politics, this plummy saga about a mixed- race family in New England is the third — and finest — book by the prodigiously gifted British author.

20. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding (1998)
We love this ditzy Brit diarist for her pratfalls, endearing bad habits, and dead-on characterizations of Singletons and Smug Marrieds (v.v.g.!).

21. On Writing, Stephen King (2000)
When he wasn't cranking out pop classics like The Shining and Carrie, King was battling alcoholism and the effects of a debilitating 1999 car accident. He recounts both his good times and bad in this memoir, which boasts his tautest writing — and some of the soundest advice to writers set to paper.

22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz (2007)
Díaz creates his own language — a vigorous high-low street Spanglish — to write about Oscar, the tubby sci-fi geek hero from a Dominican immigrant family.

23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker (1996)
In the final, gripping book of her WWI trilogy — possibly the best books written about those dreadful years — Barker brings back Billy Prior, sent again to the trenches in France after recovering from shell shock.

24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry (1985)
The heart sinks at page 50 of this loamy novel about genial cowpoke Gus, good-natured whore Lorena, cruel Blue Duck, and a very long cattle drive. Not because there are 800 pages left, but because there are only 800 pages left.

25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan (1989) [read this years ago as well, and yeah, it deserves to be on a list]
Four elderly Chinese women with iron wills forged in the old country act out family dramas with their American-born daughters in ways that resonate for anyone with a mother.

26. Neuromancer, William Gibson (1984) [I just read this recently and am beyond ecstatic that its listed here]
This sci-fi novel brought the hacker ethos, artificial reality, and cyberspace to the mainstream — and boldly anticipated the wired way we live today.

27. Possession, A.S. Byatt (1990) [I always think no one is even aware of this book, but here it is on two lists and it deserves to be]
This fat prize- winning novel is impossible to classify — a ribald academic comedy, a love story, a cerebral literary mystery, a voluptuous page-turner.

28. Naked, David Sedaris (1997)
Last year, The New Republic accused Sedaris of ''flubberizing the truth for comic effect.'' Well, duh. Anyone who fell off their Barcalounger laughing at ''Dinah the Christmas Whore'' already knew that — and didn't care.

29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett (2001) [I've read this but don't remember being affected much]
A South American embassy throws a birthday bash for a Japanese electronics mogul. A famed opera singer is on the guest list. The terrorists who swarm in through the air-conditioning vents are not. The diva's performance works miracles even with the terrorists, but it's Patchett who really sings.

30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson (2004)
A case study in ingenious genre- bending, this sublime character- driven mystery includes troubled sisters, sex crimes, and a Cambridge-based PI.

31. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien (1990)
James Frey could have learned from O'Brien, who openly marries fiction with autobiographical fact in his inspired stab at deeper truths about the Vietnam War.

32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch (1988)
The first installment of a richly detailed three-volume history of Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement.

33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (2005)
In a single year, Didion lost her husband and watched her only daughter battle a grave illness (to which she would eventually succumb). Here, she diagrams her soul- crushing pain with characteristically cool precision.

34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold (2002) [oh yes, LOVE this book, should be required reading]
A dead teen named Susie Salmon (''I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973'') narrates Sebold's supple and unnerving first novel.

35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst (2004)
This glorious social novel is set in Thatcher’s Britain, when AIDS was just starting to spoil all the freewheeling fun.

36. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt (1996) [damn,this list is good!]
''When I look back on my childhood, I wonder how I survived it all.'' After reading your ravishing memoir, Frank, so do we.

37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi (2003) [3rd graphic novel, not that I'm counting or anything...]
Another sign that comics have matured: this wry illustrated memoir about growing up in Iran during the violent upheavals of the 1970s and '80s.

38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore (1998)
The standout in Moore's brilliant collection: ''People Like That Are the Only People Here,'' a briskly tragic tale about a mother and her gravely ill child.

39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri (2000)
We've now been spoiled by two more books from Lahiri, but neither surpasses her luminous debut.

40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman (1995–2000)
Pullman's acclaimed fantasy trilogy is a grand, intellectually daring adventure through the cosmos.

41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros (1984)
In delicate vignettes, Cisneros depicts a girl growing up poor with six siblings in '80s Chicago.

42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard (1983)
Why LaBrava and not Get Shorty? Or Killshot? Good question — they're all terrific. But we like LaBrava for its almost- smart-enough hero, the louche Miami Beach setting, and the saucy love interest.

43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette (1988)
The late Monette's pain-drenched memoir about the death of his partner, Roger Horwitz, is a timeless reminder of a time when AIDS was untreatable

44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene (1991)
A Faulknerian nonfiction portrait of the racial complexities of the South, focusing on one Georgia county in the 1970s and '80s.

45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende (1988)
A beautiful servant with a magical gift for storytelling, Eva enjoys ever more enchanted journeys until she meets the man of her destiny.

46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman (1988–1996) [OMG, can I love this list any more?]
Channeling Tolkien and superhero innovator Jack Kirby, Gaiman creates a romantic, tragic dream king who straddles mythology and imagination, battling Lucifer and serving as muse to Shakespeare. A classic work of fantasy lit in comics form.

47. World’s Fair, E.L. Doctorow (1985)
In this autobiographical novel, 1930s New York City comes vividly to life through the eyes of a 9-year-old Bronx boy.

48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver (1998)
An epic about a zealous missionary who drags his wife and daughters to the Belgian Congo in 1959 — and to a hell largely of his own making.

49. Clockers, Richard Price (1992)
This compassionate, tough-minded novel about a young black drug dealer anticipated HBO’s The Wire.

50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen (2001)
Before the kerfuffle with Oprah: his splendid, talky family saga. —Jennifer Reese, Jeff Jensen, Tina Jordan, and Kate Ward

Whew, I'm exhausted due to my excited reactions to seeing so many of my faves on this list. I added several books to The Big Read, but I don't feel that's so necessary here (with the exception of The Kite Runner). Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore are both represented. I am definitely more familiar with the books that I haven't read here, as opposed to the other list, and several are on my to do list. There are some duplicates as well. So the accountant in me did the percentages. I've read 18% of this list as opposed to 32% of The Big Read. I wonder what that says about me....

Lollapalooza 2008

2008-08-06T19:56:00.012-04:00

This past weekend was the eagerly awaited concert event of the year for me. Having been a traveling Lolla veteran of 1992 and 2003 (which I had completely forgotten), this was my first time at Lolla's one-time Chicago destination. I have to admit the Gotham City location added to my excitement.

My plane was delayed out of Philly due to bad storms in Chi-town but all that was forgotten when upon arriving at the airport, Sergio greets me with the amazing news that we get to see The Gutter Twins at a Lolla after party sponsored by Spin Magazine. Once over my disbelief, I couldn't believe my luck! I was going to see The Gutter Twins at a club in Chicago, after a day in the park and for free! I'm exhausted just thinking about how exciting that was.

Ok, so Day 1 started with getting oriented to the CTA (Blue Line!) and the layout of the festival in Grant Park. My music consisted of The Black Keys (rock!), a little bit of Cat Power, The Raconteurs (major rock - I was blown away) and ended with none other than Radiohead!! This was my first time seeing Radiohead and they did not disappoint. Of course the field was huge and I was way in the back but the light show and set list were great, and it was supplemented by fireworks over Lake Michigan, not that the show needed any more atmosphere. Wow. But the night was young.....

The crowds on the streets were insane after the show. All 3 days sold out, so that's 75,000 people let loose in Chicago each night. After wandering around a bit, we found a cab and made our way to Reggie's for the after show. Our names were on the list! Does it Offend You, Yeah? were supposed to do a DJ set but somehow lost their equipment and made do with a CD player. Spin even had free drinks, but they weren't really drinkable. By the time the Gutter Twins took the stage, the club was packed. My second wind had taken hold. Dulli seemed to be in a good mood and the band was real tight. They played several new songs that I'm hoping will be on the forthcoming EP: Feathers, Flow Like a River, and Change Has Come. Mark's voice was intense, I wish I could remember which song it was but at one point, he blew me away more than usual. At the end of the set, I snagged the set list. Yay! After a long ass train ride, we arrived back at our hotel and completely crashed.

Day 2 - I woke with a start. Oh shit, gotta get ready and go see the Gutter Twins again! Sergio and I barely made it to the park for the GT's 2:30 show. I was running across the field when I heard the music start. Why does nothing excite me so much as music? I was talking to a guy at the airport and he referred to his musical obsession as his 'problem'. I'd prefer to call it a 'passion', but really at this point, shouldn't I engage in a more philanthropic pastime? Even in the midst of all this excitement, I can't help the inane pondering.

After the Gutter Twins set we made our way over to Perry's, a dj tent, but we had just received a text that Slash was going to make a special appearance during Perry Farrell's set. After waiting forever, Slash finally showed up but never played a lick because something was wrong with the sound equipment. Apparently Slash and Perry won the kids over on Sunday at Kidzapalooza. After much texting and phone calls, we finally met up with my friend Justin with a chance walk by. He took us over to see Explosions in the Sky, which are a progressive instrumental band that now qualify as the biggest find of the festival for me.

Ok, here's where it starts to get a little hazy, but still totally fun. We hung out at green street for a bit, did some shopping and catching up with Erin. Next up was the Toadies but not before a stop at the bar for some beer and wine. I was feeling no pain. When the Toadies launched into Possum Kingdom, it was all over for me. For years I've said that song was at the top of my 'to do' list, and though its not checked off yet, to hear it live and at Lollapalooza was definitely the next best thing. From there it was directly to Rage. Now I've seen Rage at Coachella 2007 and as insane as that was, Lolla was more so. Zack stopped the show 3 times pleading with the crowd to take steps back and take care of each other. Luckily my altered state of mind provided me with a no-fear mindset. But Sergio and I did bow out of the crowd early - the porta potties were calling my name. (I've finally figured out a way to overcome the gag factor.) Making our way out of the crowd was no easy feat though. The after Rage wind down consisted of a long, fast walk to Navy Pier and tons of grub. Then another long ass walk and long ass train ride before crashing could be commenced.

Day 3 - We decided to take it a little easier today being Day 2 was chock full of constant action and no rest. From a nice spot on a tree covered slope, I took in the Jon Butler Trio and Iron and Wine. From there it was an attempt at Saul Williams, via the Flogging Molly crowd. We eventually settled at Blues Traveler, for a traditional, rocking show. Gnarls Barkley were next and I finally redeemed myself after being lame and tired and missing their set at Coachella 06.
Gnarls were another highlight for me. Surprisingly, they covered Radiohead! Then it was another trek through a tight crowd partying at Girl Talk on the way over to NIN. Trent is calling this tour "Lights in the Sky over North America 2008". And it lived up to its name. I've seen NIN a few times and this was the best. The music, the lights, the sound, the Chicago skyline framing the stage - a perfect way to end the festival. Trent even got a little nostalgic about the first Lollapalooza and all the years that have passed - and then he went right into Hurt - brought me to tears.

Yet again, the night was still young. After resting on the lawn at Millenium Park, we stopped at the fountain to see what all the hooting and hollering was about. People were having tons of fun. The night finally ended after a feast at Miller's and the last long train ride back to the hotel. I had an amazing time. Can't wait till next year!

Tales of a Neurotic Woman

2008-07-28T10:19:00.003-04:00

My girls went on vacation with their dad, as they always do, twice each summer. This time he took them to Montreal. There was a huge ruckus on Saturday as my innocent children couldn't get past the border without their birth certificates. I must have received a dozen phone calls. I was out of town as well so it was hours later when I was finally able to fax over their birth certificates and they were able to enter Canada. (I'll refrain from making smart comments about my ex's wisdom in all this, not to mention the fact that my kid's were not the only ones without proper identification - ok so I tried to refrain). This was all resolved about 8pm on Saturday. It is now past noon on Monday and I have not heard from them since. I've called 5 cell phone numbers and left messages numerous times. I cannot call the hotel since I don't know where they are staying. My mind is reeling with thoughts of well-executed abductions including birth certificates willingly provided by the custodial parent.

Update: I've since heard from them and it seems they are in the only place in North America with no cell phone reception. I'm trying to figure out why I immediately went to the worst place possible. I did this a couple of weeks ago too, when a phone call at the end of a 5 minute walk never came. I usually assume the best unless I have a reason to otherwise. Maybe it's cause they're on the tail end of growing up and my influence is waning. This deep seated fear I never had before has suddenly reared its ugly head. I don't like it and I don't like the feeling.

There's another feeling I've had lately that I don't like. It's reminiscent of a deep, dark place I used to dwell in full of emotional intensity and addictive roller coasters rides. I used to revel in dwelling there, like there was no truth beyond it, no better place from which to view reality. Anything else was an illusion. I thrived on it, and it did me some good then. It was a place I needed to go to survive, at a time in my life that welcomed it. Even when I no longer required it, a piece of me remained, inextricably tied there. Finally and cautiously I moved beyond it. I haven't fully examined what it means to live where I now reside, joy is still sometimes elusive and love even more so, but I am happy to be here. These old feelings have awakened in me a desire to move further away from them, to continue to search out experiences of joy and light, and love. I've had an odd wish today to drink a glass of wine and dance, just dance as if dancing will set me free.

A Full Moon and The Dark Knight

2008-07-17T23:38:00.006-04:00

Holy Fucking Movie Batman! I have so much to say about this movie and the experience surrounding it, but due to construction on the Schuylkill it took me over an hour to get home, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. (I actually wrote myself notes while sitting in traffic). If anyone plans to go, do not delay, go now!!

Ok, its time for the real recap of my TDK exerpience:

As the title says, last night was a full moon which I thought was highly appropriate for the night's adventure. As i said in my previous post, my tickets were free courtesy of my cable/internet/phone company. The movie was being shown at the UA Main Street 6 in Manayunk. I wore my bat tee for the occasion and upon arriving immediately realized how lame that was. We picked up our tickets and made our way to the nearby Manayunk Diner for some grub. As soon I walked in 2 of the waitstaff complimented me on my tee. OK, so I felt better. But I could hardly eat due to my nervous energy. This wasn't a Tool concert, I was surprised at how excited I was. The waitress even sat down and inquired how long I'd been a bat fan!

After eating, we made our way back to the theatre. We patiently sat through Regal's First Look
and then the 'turn off your cell phones' message. At this point , although the theatre was only half full, you know everyone there was raring to go. And then....nothing! The screen froze and there was no sound. We all sat there looking at each other until a security guard (not an usher mind you, a security guard) came in and told us the movie would be delayed another half hour.
Hmmm, whatever, I passed the time reading a vampire manga book my daughter lent me.

Finally, the previews began - most notably for me were The Spirit and of course, Watchmen.

Spoiler alert: (not really, I don't give away any major plot lines, but just in case)

Then, The Dark Knight began, with a wild opening sequence that I cannot wait to see in IMAX.
This film had much more action and cringe scenes (for me, anyway) than Batman Begins. It's much less of Bruce Wayne's personal story and more of the universal conflict between good and evil, sane and crazy, hero and villian. But taken on the heels of Batman Begins, it was golden.

All the hype over Heath Ledger's Joker was right on. This was really his movie. Whatever accolades he receives for this role are well deserved. I thought Aaron Eckhart portrayed a very believable Harvey Dent as well.

I also previously wrote about being schooled in Bat lore. I am certainly glad for that because I felt a certain kind of satisfaction at being able to recognize story lines, knowing that the writers did their homework and which of the plot turns did not stay true to the original comics. I was extremely pleased to see that the relationship between Batman and The Joker had the same psychological implications as that that was brought out in The Killing Joke. The scenes and the dialogue between the two characters were just as intense as I'd imagined.

I left the movie to view the sight of the full moon in the night sky, and pondering the themed takeaway questions. Is it better to know the truth even if you are 100% sure it will hurt? What hurts more, the staged reality or the truth? Does the lie truly protect the innocent? Does believing in the lie really help those who it is meant to protect? These themes played out for Batman as well as the good citizens of Gotham City. I couldn't help but think of my bat benefactor and wonder how they are playing out for him at this very moment. How are they playing out for me?

I love it when a movie makes me think, and The Dark Knight met that expectation fully. I can't wait to see it again.

Superheroes

2008-07-12T17:28:00.005-04:00

This week I finally got around to seeing Iron Man. I had heard that it was good and was intrigued at the idea of Robert Downey, Jr. as the lead character. My only previous encounter with Tony Stark was through Neil Gaiman's Eternals series, though I was aware of his back story. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and it's awesome ending, which, for some strange reason was very validating. I had a harder time accepting The Dude as the villian, but that came together by the end as well. Must be those iron suits.

Next up is The Dark Knight. While by no means am I an expert on Batman, I do consider myself pretty well versed in Bat lore. I loved Batman Begins and I am beyond excited for The Dark Knight. I've been greedily devouring every preview, behind the scenes, interviews, articles, photos, etc I can get my hands on.I planned to see it in IMAX but had to wait till Sunday of opening weekend because the other times were already sold out. Then yesterday I get an email from my cable company offering free tickets for Thursday, before opening night! I jumped at the chance and scored my tickets!

Now here is the catch - I left Iron Man thinking Robert Downey Jr. (as Tony Stark) could be my superhero anyday, and I obviously feel the same way about Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne. However in real life, multi-millionaire, corporate, fast-car driving, suited men don't do a thing for me. Mind you, I've never met one, but you'd think that my values and tastes would translate to the big screen, and historically they have. So I've boiled it down to this - it's not the magic of the movies or Hollywood - it's the power of the comic, the fact that I've read these characters before, and of course the biggest aspect is the superhero factor. If I feel a connection to someone it doesn't matter what his day job is, and that goes for mogul superheroes as well. I can't wait for Thursday....

The Big Read

2008-06-27T16:37:00.002-04:00

I stole this from Kali who stole it from Chrys:

The Big Read thinks the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books they've printed below.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE. (Well, I can't figure out how to underline on here, so I'm going to star the ones I LOVE).
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee**
6. The Bible - I've read some and I have aspirations to read the rest.
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte**
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell**
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare - I'm italicizing because I haven't read the complete works, but I've read enough.
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger**
19. The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (the first one)
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini**
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown**(for the leads it gave me)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (the first one)
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood**
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley**
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Well, I've read way more than 6 and some of them twice (mainly the books I was assigned to read during school, just to see if they'd have the same effect on a mature me vs. a teenage me. And they did. Heathcliff and Holden still rock my world). I'm going to add some as well:

American Gods - Neil Gaiman**(had to get some Neil on the list)
V for Vendetta - Alan Moore** (graphic novel representation)
The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd**
Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt**
Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes**

Disguises and Marital Advice

2008-06-23T22:12:00.000-04:00

This is the min-blog, or jet-lagged blog before the real-deal blog which I'll get to at some point. Two things have stuck with me over the past few days that I want to write about. I was at a bridal shower yesterday and one of the 'games' we played was to write a bit of marital advice for the new couple on a card. The cards were then read aloud to the bride-to-be and she picked her top 5. The winners got prizes. This is what I wrote:

"Always make time for each other. Share your interests and your passions. Be friends."

It was a winner! Considering the demise of my own marriage, and my relation to the bride-to-be, I could not be considered an expert by any means on marriage. But I was flattered that I won.I do believe in what I wrote. I also believe that when my advice is not happening, or the parties could care less about sharing anything, the relationship is way over. I hope her relationship includes sharing and being friends, and does so for a very long time. I love the girl.

Saturday morning at the airport gate waiting for my flight from JFK to Philly, I noticed this guy. I noticed him because of his big bushy mustache. Then I saw his sleek body and nice physique which totally contradicted the out of date mustache. So then (and remember I am running on nothing, having just flown overnight from Seattle), I finally notice the sunglasses, weird longish blonde hair and red baseball cap. I realize the cap and hair is a wig, and the whole thing is a disguise. As I was watching him, he kept changing seats. I don't even know which flight he eventually got on, I think he was making a concerted effort to blend in, meanwhile to me, he stood out like a sore thumb. I'm sure he was some famous actor, but if he wasn't in disguise, I probably wouldn't have given him a second glance.

The whole idea of standing out more because you want to hide is what's running through my brain. Especially since, and I may blog deeper about this at some point, part of my trip was the realization that despite all the work I've done over the years, all the books I've read, the efforts I've made to be real, to live up to my authentic self - I am still not completely there. Its frustrating. Will I ever be?

The Spaces Between the Stars

2008-05-24T19:36:00.007-04:00

I just finished reading The Merlin Effect, written by T.A. Barron. It was one of my daughter's reading olympics books. I always have a pile of books on my nightstand which my daughters add to whenever they've finished a book that they feel I must read as well. I was intrigued by the title, the connection to King Arthur, and not the least by the pangs of guilt because I still need to read The Mists of Avalon.

The Merlin Effect is about a young girl, Kate, in Baja for a research project with her father, a historian. The other members of the team consisted of Isabella, a marine biologist and Terry, a geologist. All 3 were participating for their own gains under the ruse of being a team. Her father was looking for The Resurrection, a 1547 Spanish galleon lost at sea and through folk legend rumored to have carried Merlin's horn. The marine biologist was studying sea life and the geologist, undersea volcanic activity. I loved the different themes played out in this story- science, myth, history, spirituality - even more so since this is a young adult book - and one my kid thoroughly enjoyed.

Certain parts of the book struck me, which is why I knew I should write about it. Kate's in-depth conversation with Isabella, regarding the spiral of DNA and the evolutionary creation of life, began with "All the future lies within the present" and ended with my favorite quote:

"Just as every star is part of creation, so are all the empty spaces between the stars."

Kate's conversation with Geoffrey towards the end of their adventure held more favorite quotes and life affirming realizations: "If you can choose, you can create." The magic of the horn has more to do with renewed life than everlasting life. It turns out Kate had the power all along, the knowledge that she could choose her own life, each and every day - to begin again. This has nothing to do with age, for each moment holds it own beauty and promise of hope and potential for change. It's our choice to make something of these moments and days in our lives, old or young, the lesson pertains to all of us.

"Never doubt the spiral horn,
Holds a power newly born,
Holds a power newly great,
Holds a power you create."

At the same time I was reading this book, I was also obsessing on a song by Dan Wilson, Free Life. Here are the lyrics:

Let's take a little trip down where we used to go
It's way beyond the strip a place they call your soul
We'll sit down for a while and let the evening roll

Don't worry 'bout the time we'll find a place to stay
The people 'round here seem familiar in some way
Look kinda like we did before we got so cold

And in the air the questions hang
Will we get to do something
Who we gonna end up being
How we gonna end up feeling
What you gonna spend your free life on?
Free life

Let's fall in love again with music as our guide
We'll raise our ready hands and let go for the ride
Down into unknown lands where lovers needn't hide

We got these lives for free we don't know where they've been
We don't know where they'll go when we are through with them
The starlight of the sun the dark side of the moon

And in the air the questions hang
Will we get to do something
Who we gonna end up being
How we gonna end up feeling
What you gonna spend your free life on?
Free life
Free life
Free life

It seems so long ago those empty afternoons
With nowhere much to go and nothing much to do
But sit up in my room and let the world unfold

In the air the questions hang
Will we get to do something
Who we gonna end up being
How we gonna end up feeling
What you gonna spend your free life on?

In the air the questions hang
Will we get to do something
Who we gonna end up being
How we gonna end up feeling
What you gonna spend your free life on?
Free life
Free life
Free life
Free life

I kept coming back to this song after I finished the book. I thought they went well together, both reminders that we get to choose, this life is ours, given to us free. The years, months, days, hours, minutes - -it's basically up to us - it's up to me to decide where I want to live, what I want to do, who I want to spend it with. Sure, there are obligations, but at the end of the day, we only have to live with ourselves.

I just love how synchronicity bestows itself upon me. From the moment years ago, when I decided to pay attention, it hasn't failed me. Besides the obvious message, I'm not exactly sure what this song and book may be leading me to, but they are just the most recent two in a flurry of similar ideas being thrown my way. I can't let go of the Tool connection either, (a very personal one), and I wonder what the next step will be....

The Waiting Room

2008-05-17T19:04:00.003-04:00

As I usually do on weekend evenings when I stay in (which is 99.9% of weekend evenings), I watch a movie on demand from my cable carrier. Last night's choices were The Darjeeling Limited, Eastern Promises, Superheroes, and The Waiting Room. And my choice, more often than I care to admit leans toward a love story. From the preview The Waiting Room seemed to be a love at first sight type of movie and I'm always curious to see how that works out. The romantic in me has not completely ruled out the possibility. Spoiler alert from here on in: I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, the plot lines for the two main characters were interesting and very real, however the plot involving the two of them together was practically non-existent. The two meet by chance in the waiting room of a train station, exchange only niceties, yet can't get each other out of their minds. Life goes on and at the very end of the movie, they meet again in the same place, and walk off holding hands. Even the most hopelessly romantic cannot be hopeful in this situation. Could we have at least a conversation? A connection, something they have in common? During the movie we learn that the man is not ready for kids, meanwhile the woman has one. And we're supposed to believe things will work out in the end? Another crazy thing that bugged me was that the man's live-in girlfriend was painting and redecorating their apartment. When they split up, he stayed in the apartment! I know that's petty, but I thought she should have kicked him out. Maybe I was looking for more of the falling in love story, no, that's exactly what I was looking for. Like I said, I did enjoy the movie overall, but I would have liked more meat in their story.

The moral of the story is that the movie started me thinking about my own life and love. Have I ever met someone and instantly known that it was love at first sight? Hell no. But have I known on first 'meeting', that this encounter might lead to something else? Yes. I've only ever thought I was in love twice, and now after the fact I question if it really was love. Does love only count when you're in the midst of it? For as long as I've lived this life, I'm still rather clueless when it comes to matters of the heart. Not my own heart, I know that one pretty well, but I am not as good at reading other people's. I truly believe love and joy are two of our primary purposes as human beings, but I question whether that love is meant to be of the romantic kind. I'm not looking for love nor am I lacking for love in my life, but the mystery is still out there. What if? When? Where? Why? and perhaps most mysteriously, Who?

Tonight I will stay away from those types of movies ;)

To Blog or Not to Blog

2008-05-05T20:47:00.001-04:00

My head is literally full of ideas for blogs, most of which I forget soon after I think them up. But in this blog attempt, I thought I should write about the reason I set up this blogger account. If not for any potential readers, then to rationalize it for myself. Honestly, I’ve occasionally thought about setting up a blog for a few years. I was once told that ‘blogs are just a call for attention’, which served to put the idea right out of my head. But this time I took the plunge, mostly as a challenge to myself, to see if I could devote the time necessary to maintain and update a blog on a semi-regular basis.

Those that know me know that writing is one my desires. Sharing is one of my pitfalls. Reading is also a passion of mine. I decided a few years ago that my ultimate ‘to do’ in life would be to own and run a book shop - a funky little bookshop, including books and graphic novels with a political, social, cultural, environmental, spiritual bend. The shop would feature discussion groups, various events and of course coffee. I imagine it growing into a community of sorts. The shop would be an extension of my own interests and cater to like minded individuals. In my heart, this would be an amazing way of life.

However, the reality is that I’ve got kids to raise and I need my real job to do that. Who knows how I’ll feel when that responsibility is completed. A friend of mine suggested that instead of a brick and mortar shop, I create an online one. I could write reviews and sell books. What a great idea! In my mind I envisioned an interactive site, where readers/customers could leave their own reviews and comments. Perhaps I could even sell coffee according to my original plan. I immediately researched the cost of a website and obtaining a name and business license – all reasonable costs. I spoke to my girls and they suggested that they each contribute a section catering to their own interests, such as anime and history.

My biggest concern was time. Would I have the time to keep it up and running? Would I or my kids lose interest? Would I start and not follow through? Would I stress myself out? Would I actually write and post reviews? So my solution for the time being was this blog. For now, I’ll see where it takes me.

The Primary and China

2008-04-22T21:15:00.002-04:00

So today is the big PA primary. I’m glad all those calls from Hilary and Bill will stop now. I only received one from Obama’s camp and it was a real person. Interesting. I took my 12 year olds with me to vote. We walked to the polling place (it is Earth day after all). I had them in the booth with me and let them each push some buttons. During our walk there and back home, I tried my best to explain the whole voting process. It was one of those things where I confused them enough, I could tell they just wanted me to shut up already. It isn’t just the kids that are confused. I wish this country’s big problems weren’t so big that somebody could take a look at the way we vote. I’m not just talking about the machines and the count, the whole damn set up. I barely touched on superdelegates. Add to the confusion the fact that each state is done differently, does anybody really understand what the hell is going on? If so, I’d like to know, in the simplest way possible. I voted for the party’s presidential candidate as well as 3-7 delegates to the national convention (vote for not more than 7 delegates, 4 males and 3 females) and one alternate delegate (not to mention state and local elections). Right now Hilary is leading Obama 54% - 46%. Reading back what I wrote, this blog barely makes sense.

China? I’ll have to hit on that one another time.

Elihu Vedder and the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

2008-04-21T19:43:00.005-04:00

My girls and I took a ride to the Brandywine River Museum today. We had planned it for a while and took advantage of this gorgeous Saturday to take a drive. The main purpose was to see the exhibit, Elihu Vedder and the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. Omar Khayyam was a Persian mathematician and astronomer who wrote this ancient text of quatrains that was first translated in 1859 by Edward Fitzgerald. Elihu Vedder illustrated Fitzgerald's translations in 1884. The best way I can describe the content of the Rubaiyat is -Life and its contradictions - but that’s way too simplistic. As I was going through the exhibit I noted that certain words used over and over again - potter, cup, wine - struck me as obvious metaphors. I thought the museum bookstore would have printed versions of the original works on display, but I only found one tiny version of the text only. I wanted Vedder's gorgeous illustrations as well. The Rubaiyat took on much more meaning for me, with the illustrated interpretations. Vedder used lots of Greek Mythology in his illustrations. It was wonderful having a 12 year old, who having just learned Greek Mythology, added her own interpretations, and upon reading the accompanying posted information, found out she was right! Of course, as I should have known, the Rubaiyat, takes on the same themes I'm seeing everywhere right now.

From http://www.okonlife.com/life/philosophy.htm: "Khayyam understood that it was our fate, our destiny, something beyond our control to be born into this world. He also understood that death was an inevitable fate for anyone who was ever born. He understood that our bodies come from dust and clay, and return to clay. He understood the fantasy of concerning ourselves with the future, as well as the neurosis of staying in our past. He saw that all we have is this ever slipping moment, this now, which itself has a timeless quality. And he understood that in life what is important is that deeper joy and love for which we have infinite yearning, as well as capacity to both receive and emanate. His Rubaiyat force us to ask those ultimate existential questions, and lead us down a path that, unless we are lost along the way or are destabilized by the abyss which we must traverse, must inevitably reach the same answer. Those ultimate truths that in life all that matters is love and joy. All else is fantasy and fallacy."

When I returned home, I went straight to Amazon to order a copy and found out that the only editions they had were hardcover and $200! I should note that my knowledge of Omar stemmed from a TV show (embarrassing I know) and I happened to see an advertisement for this exhibit soon after. The museum grounds offered a pretty trail along the Brandywine River. I've already decided my next trip down that way will include the Delaware Art Museum for the Botero exhibit and the Brandywine Battlefield Park. Of course, no trip down Wilmington Pike is complete without stopping at Jimmy Johns' for a hot dog and a bite of nostalgia.