Disguises and Marital Advice

This is the min-blog, or jet-lagged blog before the real-deal blog which I'll get to at some point. Two things have stuck with me over the past few days that I want to write about. I was at a bridal shower yesterday and one of the 'games' we played was to write a bit of marital advice for the new couple on a card. The cards were then read aloud to the bride-to-be and she picked her top 5. The winners got prizes. This is what I wrote:

"Always make time for each other. Share your interests and your passions. Be friends."

It was a winner! Considering the demise of my own marriage, and my relation to the bride-to-be, I could not be considered an expert by any means on marriage. But I was flattered that I won.I do believe in what I wrote. I also believe that when my advice is not happening, or the parties could care less about sharing anything, the relationship is way over. I hope her relationship includes sharing and being friends, and does so for a very long time. I love the girl.

Saturday morning at the airport gate waiting for my flight from JFK to Philly, I noticed this guy. I noticed him because of his big bushy mustache. Then I saw his sleek body and nice physique which totally contradicted the out of date mustache. So then (and remember I am running on nothing, having just flown overnight from Seattle), I finally notice the sunglasses, weird longish blonde hair and red baseball cap. I realize the cap and hair is a wig, and the whole thing is a disguise. As I was watching him, he kept changing seats. I don't even know which flight he eventually got on, I think he was making a concerted effort to blend in, meanwhile to me, he stood out like a sore thumb. I'm sure he was some famous actor, but if he wasn't in disguise, I probably wouldn't have given him a second glance.

The whole idea of standing out more because you want to hide is what's running through my brain. Especially since, and I may blog deeper about this at some point, part of my trip was the realization that despite all the work I've done over the years, all the books I've read, the efforts I've made to be real, to live up to my authentic self - I am still not completely there. Its frustrating. Will I ever be?